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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm writing this cause I really need advice, and don't wanna go to my other friends to drop my best friends business... sooo I know its long, but I'd appreciate if you guys read it.

Alright, I'm writing this because I've got a friend who has some suspicions that his mom is a lesbian. He asked me what I would do in this situation. And to be honest, I don't know. Anyways, he was raised by his mother, father wasn't around. With his mother lived another lady, who was his mom's childhood friend. Since the lady has been there for him since birth, he calls her his aunt. His mom was never much around cause she was always working, and he remembers spending a lot more time with his aunt compared to his mom, but he still loved her dearly he said. So as he grew up, he started noticing that his mom and his aunt started to fight and bicker a lot over stupid things, he can't remember because he was relatively young. His mom ended up getting a better paying job, and met new friends. His aunt was very pleased as he remembered them fighting over about these new friends, (which consisted of older ladies, middle aged women, etc.). He said he remembers this one time when his mom came home very drunk, he had been worried and had been alone all day. His aunt was at work, and his mom had left, already been drinking. That same night she come really drunk throwing up all over the place and started to fight with his aunt. Doors were broken, etc. After that day, things went down hill... His mom had lost her job post 9-11, and his aunt ended up moving out, and things got tougher. After a few months, an ex co worker of his mom's, who had become a good friend, moved in, partially because she needed a place, and partially because she wanted to help out with rent and all that jazz. At this time, my friend was in either 7th or 8th grade.Things gelled for a bit, but he saw things he said that gave him suspicions that she may have been a lesbian. (Examples include, over hearing a conversation about gay marriage, which he then proceeded to ask his real aunt {moms sister, which she immediately denied}, also seeing his "aunt" and the his moms new roommate come into contact with each other and constantly bicker, and other small details.) Now my friend has since moved away to college, is in his 3rd year, and comes home about every two weeks. About a year ago, his mom's dad passed away, and she was very hurt. Her roommate, was a blessing to have since he wouldnt be around to console her because of school. But now he says his mom is acting very weird again, and her roommate wants to move out. He has heard them argue but can't pin point exactly what those arguments are. He suspects, and has suspected that his mom is either bisexual or a lesbian.

Then he asked me what I would do in that situation. He told me he has a problem being lied too, and this would be one of the biggest lies he's ever lived/faced. He said he's thought about it, and can seriously see himself cutting off all communication with his mother just for that sole reason. Keep in mind he loves her dearly, since she has done everything in the world for him, but he just has that problem with lying. I told him I was at a loss for words and would have no idea what to do...

What would you guys do? Would you accept your mom and still love her? Or would you cut off all contact with her? Btw, he's an only child on her side, and has two sisters from his dad's side, who have no contact with his mother.
 

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Well he's obviously had this suspicion for awhile so i honestly dont think much would change. I dont think anything would change really. He hasnt had a dad in his life (which is sad). On top of that, there isnt really anything he can do about it. Hes in college and an adult now. He obviously loves his mom no matter what. Shes cared for him his whole life.
 
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DoseofDopeness said:
if I were him, i'd want her to tell me, just so when i get older the pain of knowing close to none. especially witht he way society treats the issue.
The older you know though, the more mature you are about it.
 

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Dude's mom is trying trying to protect him. It may not be right in his eyes, but in her eyes it is and she has sacrificied her own happiness to keep it a secret. I'm in a similar situation where I know I'm adopted, but my parents never told me and still are not aware of me knowing. They just tried to protect me in what they seemed the right way. Even though I disagree with their way - and wish they would have been open about it - it is what it is and I respect that they still love me and tried to keep me safe.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Rolli said:
Dude's mom is trying trying to protect him. It may not be right in his eyes, but in her eyes it is and she has sacrificied her own happiness to keep it a secret. I'm in a similar situation where I know I'm adopted, but my parents never told me and still are not aware of me knowing. They just tried to protect me in what they seemed the right way. Even though I disagree with their way - and wish they would have been open about it - it is what it is and I respect that they still love me and tried to keep me safe.
that makes a lot of sense... thanks dude, I think I'ma go with telling him that. btw, its weird, but your avatar is my friend from high school lol.
 

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it's his mom.
imo, theres nothing she could possibly do that would deserve getting cut off like that. after years and years of love and protection, there is nothing she can do that would rightfully deserve getting cut off. nothing.

he shouldn't be looking at the situation so shallowly and be more forgiving.
i mean, it seems like dude is giving his mom treatment that he would give anyone else, not how it should be.
like rolli said, i'm sure there's a good reason. if he has such a problem with lying he should ask his moms why as opposed to just cutting it off right there.

you're a good guy for trying to help btw. if he's honestly considering what he's considering, it's dope you're trying to stop him over something so trivial.
 
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