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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm pretty new to this, but what do you think of this? (the beat changes around 1:30, but I think the amplitude shows that pretty clearly)
"Joe Distorto"

https://soundcloud.com/ringootje%2Fjoe-distorto-3000
and this, which is at an early stage, but my friends say they like it...:
"Mr. Build 'Em Up"

https://soundcloud.com/ringootje%2Fmr-build-em-up
I'm not sure what to add to MBEU, but I already added some basic bass.

I wrote something for it, though, one verse so far, unedited as of yet, the repeated lines are meant to be during the building up of the drums:

"Gone with the wind
Gone, gone with the wind (x8)

Gone with the wind
And done with the sins (x8)

Gone with the wind
And done with the sins
Get along your path
And find something to win
Find the strength within
And show where you have been
Show where you are
And show with what scars
Show through what tar
How you came from afar
How you've beaten Jafar
And all the soldiers before
How you were victorious by far
And how you played them like it's Darts
How you beat them running
While they were in the car"

Any (useful) comments? Both negative and positive are welcome.

Written something for a Batman/Community beat some friends and I made, I will try to make it one good verse.
I will try to do it in the Nolan Batman voice when it's done haha

"I got 69 problems
And I like em all
Just saved Gotham City
But now I'm burning Greendale, y'all!
Sipping pussy while I's eating alcohol
Yes
Indeed
You heard Brucey right
Ima let Robin handle this big ass Joker fight
I'm too drunk to even put up a...
What?

I've got the masterplan, just cause I'm Batman
BITCH
I'll hit you if to the Commissioner you'll snitch
won't be cryin for a little bit
I'll make the place well lit,

I'll slam you so hard it becomes a Michael Bay movie
extra groovy
Or extra gravy? As long as there's extra chicken for this navy
You thought I was serious? this' what I call business.
I'm Batman, and I'm there for my fam
And fans
And friends
If I had many, or any.
I'll rock harder than Lenny
And sell you for a penny.

So long Gotham,
we gettin drunk of pancakes
In Canada,
So I'm going bananas"
 
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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Shahi Stan said:
My honest opinion; take some of these:


Too much off key stuff.
Do you mean the entire song? Cause I'm almost sure the main part is pretty on key. I have to say I don't really have experience, but still.
I want to change the intro (the first 1:20-ish) myself, I don't like the higher notes that much anymore.

I edited the song now though, but that's an added outro (also at an earlier stage), I'll upload that version later today or tomorrow, maybe I make some changes to the intro before I upload it, make the song cleaner, etc.

Muchos gracias for your opinion, though, it's appreciated.
 
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