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J

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Discussion Starter #1
I was in the car and bored...


Photographic phonetics they're considered picture perfect.
I'm leaning over the edge rambling asking if it's worth it.
Rap games my Cinderella test the shoe it's a sure fit.

As I stare in the mirror I watch myself carefully.
The people have been begging for a new savior prayerfully.
Lyrics are my energy therefore I never rap wearily.

I spit over butterscotch beats with lollipop linguistics.
Candy cane creativy I control the game with a stick shift.
Swedish fish soul I'm a Macy's changing room misfit.

Watchu guys think? (ik it's not a lot)
 
J

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Discussion Starter #5
C. Dante said:
Dem alliterations



But I dont  understand the swedish fish/macy's line lol
Either do i lol

I was just writing what came to my head :dno:

Ill prob go back and change that
 
J

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OFWGKTADGAFsoGTFOfag said:
its dope but put it in the sticked battle/written verses thread youll get better feedback
Thanks boss
 

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You definitely have some good rhyming skills and writing prowess. I'd like to see more put towards keeping the verse in a progressing way. Like connect it to a theme and not deviate from it. I was interested in where you were going with the verse at first then it kinda just went all over the place. Good shit tho
 
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BackpackMatt said:
You definitely have some good rhyming skills and writing prowess. I'd like to see more put towards keeping the verse in a progressing way. Like connect it to a theme and not deviate from it. I was interested in where you were going with the verse at first then it kinda just went all over the place. Good shit tho
Thanks!

Great feedback :h5:
 
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