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ik you guys don't take fraternity life all that well, and i get it but its vital to the story. there's been great advice for me here and i need you guys lol

was rushing a fraternity, they bid me for the spring even though i was taking 3 classes at university and 1 class at community. they said we'll try it and if not i could rerush for the fall. so i went with that, university said ineligible and i planned on rushing the fall but the day before classes, my friend died in a car crush on the highway on my birthday. fucked me up. 2 or 3 weeks in, met with advisor and collectively decided itd be best to get fully refunded and focus on mental wellness. didn't rush and it upset for the next year missing out because i quit on responsibilities.

found myself the next year, content with my life and moving forward and not living in the past. met this girl a few months back, started talking to her for a few weeks ago. haven't opened up to anyone in over a year but she made me happy and i saw a future with her. we met up friday night, hung out and hooked up, all was well saturday when i was work. but she asked me about the fraternity and she thought i was still in the house. explained it to her and her perspective on me changed. conversations were different, asked her if she made it back safe cause it snowed last night, she responded and i told her it was nice seeing her during the weekend. no response. we're done.

lost myself, regained trust issues, going back to a past-regretting mindset because of her. trying to control substance abuse, money management, get back in the gym and a healthier lifestyle but my mind is sick that she switched up on me. not proud of the things that used to make me happy even just last week. been getting consolation from friends and family but just need more suggestions
 

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if her perspective on you changed based on if youre in a frat or not...shes not worth a sack of shit tbh. rather than wanting you for you, she may have liked the allure of going out with a frat boy more (for whatever that's worth)

i say you dodged a bullet on this one and it'll definitely take some time to recoup but i think just keeping positive and focusing on yourself and you'll be alright. by bettering yourself you'll find someone so much better that doesn't care about what you have or what youre apart of but who you are
 
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