Lost an old friend today

he committed suicide in his house this morning. His sister informed me about it.

the worst part is that we talked all day yesterday and he seemed.. Normal in a way.. Like nothing was haunting him. the very last thing he said to me was "I'll never understand the meaning of happiness" I asked him what was wrong. He never texted back. He left a note. I wanted to know what it said but she wouldn't tell me most of it for some reason. I respect that. It's family business but still... We were really close. Hung out and played ball everyday. Smoked. Vented. Rare guy, dude was a uplifting person. Never can be in a bad mood around him. Always had something positive to say... There was one part of the note she told me, he quoted maya angelou's "I know why the caged bird sings" and I told him about that poem, he mentioned that a good friend of his (me) showed him great music to relate to and works of art to admire. it honestly made me cry.

. Trying to play off this and forget it is rough.. And I'm thinking, what if I lose my brother (best friend like a brother) or even family for that matter. Shits scary man..

This song is perfectly fitting, almost lost it again listening to this