The alien I saw working in a kebab shop in Berlin. He looked like a slightly melting Arab Gary Shandling. I knew something was funny by watching him move, it was something in the way it poured the tahini. Then a weird incandescent light was pouring out of his ears, sort of like honey. He peeped me noticing, saw the confused horror explode through my expression and moved in a time folding way, like a film jumping. It looked shocked like a young boy that was discovered stealing quarters from his moms purse to play Galaga at the corner store. I backed away into the door and almost broke through it but then it said something that sounded like "xeeulis" or something and I felt comfort like never before. We spoke for about an hour but everything it said I immediately forgot. Except this: that Kanye West was the greatest artist of any kind in the history of man.
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