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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I found this. It brought me the lulz.

Dear Nas, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got him
I told E-Money Bags to gimme the number but somebody shot'em Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot him
but anyways; %!#@ it, what's been up? Man how's your daughter?
Beyonce pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?
I'ma name her Destiny
I read about Ill Will too what a tragedy
I had a friend (Biggie) kill himself over some [email protected]*%+ who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground $!$* that you did with Serch
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the $!$* you did with bravehearts too, that $!$* was phat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
I'm a Stan

Chorus: Dido

Dear Nas, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad - I just think it's %%%*$* UP you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Memphis
That's my little ***** man, he's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you,
four hours and you just said, "No."
That's pretty%+#@+!* man - you're like his %[email protected]%+$+ idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to
Remember when we met at Premo's - you said if I'd write you
you would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I never knew my father neither;
he used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
so when I have a%+#@+!* day, I drift away and put 'em on
cause I don't really got $!$* else so that $!$* helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest(G-O-D-S-O-N)
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
Beyonce's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Nas, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Im A. Stan -- P.S.
We should be together too

Chorus: Dido

Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,
this'll be the last package I ever send your%+*+
It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Nas, I drank a fifth of Armadale, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"
about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning
but didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy
and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped ALL of your pictures off the wall
I love you Nas, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me
See Nas; {*screaming at beyonce*
Shut up B! I'm trying to talk!
Hey Nas, that's B screamin in the trunk
but I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh $!$*, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this $!$* out?
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