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I like how you're rocking the voice distortion... It's pretty decent but I felt as if there were a couple of times where you changed your rhymes on the wrong line, like a bar too late or too early.  It's pretty good though.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Luke said:
I like how you're rocking the voice distortion... It's pretty decent but I felt as if there were a couple of times where you changed your rhymes on the wrong line, like a bar too late or too early.  It's pretty good though.
Yea I jocked kanye with the distortion :allears:

but I don't get what you mean by changing my rhymes on the wrong line?
Type a line I did this so I can understand please.
 

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The first time I listened, the line ending in "Spaz Ho" sounded wrong, but it didn't this time...  I've been working on my rapping with a lot of rock, non-rap people and they've all been telling me to switch to a new rhyme scheme on even numbered lines...

If you aren't doing an ABAB scheme, that is.  Like they wouldn't like AAABBCCC rhyming, they'd say go for AAAABBCCCC.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Luke said:
The first time I listened, the line ending in "Spaz Ho" sounded wrong, but it didn't this time...  I've been working on my rapping with a lot of rock, non-rap people and they've all been telling me to switch to a new rhyme scheme on even numbered lines...

If you aren't doing an ABAB scheme, that is.  Like they wouldn't like AAABBCCC rhyming, they'd say go for AAAABBCCCC.
Tbh I don't know what the hell you're talking about hahahaa, not dissing you.

I'm new to this making music thing, so please explain :D
 

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Alright what I was saying wasn't so much of a music thing as a poetry thing.

There is a cat
Who sits on a bat
And there is a dog
Who sits on a log.

That's an AABB rhyme scheme. 

There is a cat
and there is a dog
The cat is fat,
and the dog has a log.

That's an ABAB rhyme scheme.

Rapping, as you clearly know judging from this song, doesn't limit itself to couplets.  I didn't count bars exactly but your song is more like an AAAAAABBBBBBB type scheme, which is fine. All I was saying is that, at least when you're beginning, it's always nice to make sure you have an even number of A's (2,4,6 rhyming bars) followed by an even number of B's (not necessarily the same number, but an even number.)

This isn't a perfect rule, and there are plenty of times when breaking it is okay but it will make your rap sound locked-down rather than sloppy.  Downside is you sound kind of formulaic.

That said, I'm not sure if you broke this "rule" on this.  The first time I listened to the song, the line ending in "spaz ho" sounded like it should rhyme with the line before it.  The second time it didn't sound as bad.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Yea you're right I know exactly what you're talking about, I just started writing a song right now and I stopped because I had like

3A's and then 4 B's and it didn't sound right and then I read this response and facepalmed lol

thanks for the explination, will def help me in the future.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
dev said:
Hey man can u PM me the instrumental?
A member on here "Bubblegameway" produced it for me, let me ask him if I can send it to you.
 
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