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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I approached this one girl yesterday at a something like a party. We talked for like 5 min. She was the cutest in her group but she was taking with me so yeah aight. I knew that my brotha is not feeling the rest of the girls so I simply asked for her number and she wasn't hesitant at all. She even called herself to get my number :perv:
Later that night SHE texted me and we talked for some time and we set up a date today.

So yeah. We met. It was surprisingly great. Like. Not many times you can have such an open and honest, fun conversation on first "date".
But I didn't really get the "omg I'm so into you" vibe. I think she would wanna meet again 4 sho but I'll need some more work to you know... Get her to think about me and text me when she's bored whooptie whoop

And I've came back from this date like 3h ago and I texted her if she wanna hang out again (no response yet)

And there's my question. I could really see me falling for this girl but she's leaving on Tuesday for like 1.5 weeks.
And I don't want to do it like "see u in 2 weeks" and just text her 2 weeks later like nothing happened.
I want her to feel like we're building something even if we're not physically together.

So tldr we are past our first date. And now should I keep texting her basic things like "how's the trip?" "What's up" or should I really just wait out those two weeks and set up another date?
 

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if you want to see her again try and see her again

everyone sees dating as this weird hyper performative act where you have to trick someone into sticking around.. just be yourself g. if you try anything else she'll just see who you really are later and if it isn't meant to work it will stop working. if you want to see her again tell her you want to see her again.
 

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So here’s the breakdown: I’m going to point out a few things you’ve already messed up on. Not trying to shit on you but if you want to make this girl interested in you there’s a couple things about your game that need to be tweaked

First thing is you’re showing way too much interest already fam. You will come across as needy and end up scaring her off. Scale back a bit. You have to slowly give her interest piece by piece

Second you asked her out on a “second date” 3 hours after the first one ended. Again way too soon. Should have waited at least until the next day or so, even then it’s a stretch. I always let the girl reach back to me first after the first date to gauge her interest level. Majority of the time if she text you after the date then you did good, you just have to be patient

Third is a big mistake that gets dudes in trouble and causes them to lose a lot of chicks. Its going to sound unfamiliar but texting way too much. You said she’s going on vacation for a bit? Let her go and enjoy herself. Do you while she is away. Nothing wrong with maybe texting her once - twice a day about the trip. What’s going to happen is you will end up texting her way too much, she’s going to get too familiar with you being in her messages and next the thing you know she is going to ghost you. Let her miss you fam

Honestly you jumped the gun a bit but it’s salvageable. Wait until she reaches out to you. Don’t hit her up again until otherwise. This will do you more good in the long run, trust me from experience

TL;DR - Don’t be too invested/needy. Let her come to you, I promise she’ll make it easy if you play your cards right

If you have any questions feel free to ask
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Visions said:
So here’s the breakdown: I’m going to point out a few things you’ve already messed up on. Not trying to shit on you but if you want to make this girl interested in you there’s a couple things about your game that need to be tweaked

First thing is you’re showing way too much interest already fam. You will come across as needy and end up scaring her off. Scale back a bit. You have to slowly give her interest piece by piece

Second you asked her out on a “second date” 3 hours after the first one ended. Again way too soon. Should have waited at least until the next day or so, even then it’s a stretch. I always let the girl reach back to me first after the first date to gauge her interest level. Majority of the time if she text you after the date then you did good, you just have to be patient

Third is a big mistake that gets dudes in trouble and causes them to lose a lot of chicks. Its going to sound unfamiliar but texting way too much. You said she’s going on vacation for a bit? Let her go and enjoy herself. Do you while she is away. Nothing wrong with maybe texting her once - twice a day about the trip. What’s going to happen is you will end up texting her way too much, she’s going to get too familiar with you being in her messages and next the thing you know she is going to ghost you. Let her miss you fam

Honestly you jumped the gun a bit but it’s salvageable. Wait until she reaches out to you. Don’t hit her up again until otherwise. This will do you more good in the long run, trust me from experience

TL;DR - Don’t be too invested/needy. Let her come to you, I promise she’ll make it easy if you play your cards right

If you have any questions feel free to ask
Okay so I get the point and you made some really good arguments. But the way she responded to me (couple h ago so I haven't updated the thread yet) made it kinda easier for me to "regain" control.
But before I get to the response I was beating my self yesterday if I should text her or nah bc one side of me told me "Let her reach you, see if she cares" but other one was like "text her something small later today so she knows she wasn't just one of 4 girls you've seen today" Maybe I chose the wrong option. We will see.

But to the point. She responded with "We will set something up next week!!!"
So one one hand kinda felt like she's blowing me off but on the other she kinda confirmed there's going to be pt.2.
So now I'm gonna relax. Do my thing. And see if she texts me when she comes back.

But if she doesn't... Should I just be a man and move on to the next one or should I remind her?

I guess that's what this thread was all about. How to get through that 2 week gap without being pushy or needy but to make her text me after she comes back 🤔


+ fuck I don't know her last name and I don't have her IG. I guess it's too late now 😤
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
chasewalked said:
if you want to see her again try and see her again

everyone sees dating as this weird hyper performative act where you have to trick someone into sticking around.. just be yourself g. if you try anything else she'll just see who you really are later and if it isn't meant to work it will stop working. if you want to see her again tell her you want to see her again.
I guess that's true... Like... No one falls in love on a first date. And if a girl keeps texting me day in day out after one meeting I feel like I'm trapped.

So I'll just give her that time. Maybe some things from our meeting will stay in her mind.

And next week I'mma text her / or maybe she texts me ♥ and if I see no interest by the 3rd or 4th meeting I'll know there's something wrong.

It's too early to judge anything
If it's meant to be we will find a way to get closer
 

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chasewalked said:
if you want to see her again try and see her again

everyone sees dating as this weird hyper performative act where you have to trick someone into sticking around.. just be yourself g. if you try anything else she'll just see who you really are later and if it isn't meant to work it will stop working. if you want to see her again tell her you want to see her again.
 

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Visions said:
So here’s the breakdown: I’m going to point out a few things you’ve already messed up on. Not trying to shit on you but if you want to make this girl interested in you there’s a couple things about your game that need to be tweaked

First thing is you’re showing way too much interest already fam. You will come across as needy and end up scaring her off. Scale back a bit. You have to slowly give her interest piece by piece

Second you asked her out on a “second date” 3 hours after the first one ended. Again way too soon. Should have waited at least until the next day or so, even then it’s a stretch. I always let the girl reach back to me first after the first date to gauge her interest level. Majority of the time if she text you after the date then you did good, you just have to be patient

Third is a big mistake that gets dudes in trouble and causes them to lose a lot of chicks. Its going to sound unfamiliar but texting way too much. You said she’s going on vacation for a bit? Let her go and enjoy herself. Do you while she is away. Nothing wrong with maybe texting her once - twice a day about the trip. What’s going to happen is you will end up texting her way too much, she’s going to get too familiar with you being in her messages and next the thing you know she is going to ghost you. Let her miss you fam

Honestly you jumped the gun a bit but it’s salvageable. Wait until she reaches out to you. Don’t hit her up again until otherwise. This will do you more good in the long run, trust me from experience

TL;DR - Don’t be too invested/needy. Let her come to you, I promise she’ll make it easy if you play your cards right

If you have any questions feel free to ask
Good general advice
 

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worthit said:
Okay so I get the point and you made some really good arguments. But the way she responded to me (couple h ago so I haven't updated the thread yet) made it kinda easier for me to "regain" control.
But before I get to the response I was beating my self yesterday if I should text her or nah bc one side of me told me "Let her reach you, see if she cares" but other one was like "text her something small later today so she knows she wasn't just one of 4 girls you've seen today" Maybe I chose the wrong option. We will see.

But to the point. She responded with "We will set something up next week!!!"
So one one hand kinda felt like she's blowing me off but on the other she kinda confirmed there's going to be pt.2.
So now I'm gonna relax. Do my thing. And see if she texts me when she comes back.

But if she doesn't... Should I just be a man and move on to the next one or should I remind her?

I guess that's what this thread was all about. How to get through that 2 week gap without being pushy or needy but to make her text me after she comes back 🤔


+ fuck I don't know her last name and I don't have her IG. I guess it's too late now 😤
Heres what I would do

I’d tell her “You have to share some vacation pictures with me. Let’s exchange snaps. My username is ____”

With this set up not only are you grabbing another form of communication (Snapchat) but now you are opening up a way for her to invest into you by her sharing snaps of her vacation

This can help remedy the blank space in between the next date

In the meantime I do suggest focusing on yourself and enjoying your life as well. You never know what could happen in the next two weeks

Like I said in the previous post don’t invest too much in the beginning. Naturally you’ll feel things start to play out of you do things properly
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Visions said:
Heres what I would do

I’d tell her “You have to share some vacation pictures with me. Let’s exchange snaps. My username is ____”

With this set up not only are you grabbing another form of communication (Snapchat) but now you are opening up a way for her to invest into you by her sharing snaps of her vacation

This can help remedy the blank space in between the next date

In the meantime I do suggest focusing on yourself and enjoying your life as well. You never know what could happen in the next two weeks

Like I said in the previous post don’t invest too much in the beginning. Naturally you’ll feel things start to play out of you do things properly
Thanks for the advice! I'll try to get it right.

But your post got me curious.
When you meet with a girl and you go back home.
Do you ever text the girl after or do you wait for her to text/call and when she doesn't it only means it weren't meant to be and you move on?
 

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Visions said:
So here’s the breakdown: I’m going to point out a few things you’ve already messed up on. Not trying to shit on you but if you want to make this girl interested in you there’s a couple things about your game that need to be tweaked

First thing is you’re showing way too much interest already fam. You will come across as needy and end up scaring her off. Scale back a bit. You have to slowly give her interest piece by piece

Second you asked her out on a “second date” 3 hours after the first one ended. Again way too soon. Should have waited at least until the next day or so, even then it’s a stretch. I always let the girl reach back to me first after the first date to gauge her interest level. Majority of the time if she text you after the date then you did good, you just have to be patient

Third is a big mistake that gets dudes in trouble and causes them to lose a lot of chicks. Its going to sound unfamiliar but texting way too much. You said she’s going on vacation for a bit? Let her go and enjoy herself. Do you while she is away. Nothing wrong with maybe texting her once - twice a day about the trip. What’s going to happen is you will end up texting her way too much, she’s going to get too familiar with you being in her messages and next the thing you know she is going to ghost you. Let her miss you fam

Honestly you jumped the gun a bit but it’s salvageable. Wait until she reaches out to you. Don’t hit her up again until otherwise. This will do you more good in the long run, trust me from experience

TL;DR - Don’t be too invested/needy. Let her come to you, I promise she’ll make it easy if you play your cards right

If you have any questions feel free to ask
Great advice here -- "Give her the gift of missing you"
 

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worthit said:
Thanks for the advice! I'll try to get it right.

But your post got me curious.
When you meet with a girl and you go back home.
Do you ever text the girl after or do you wait for her to text/call and when she doesn't it only means it weren't meant to be and you move on?
I usually wait for the girl to text me back after the first date. It’s a good indicator of where her interest level is

If you don’t hear back from her then you have your answer

But let’s say a girl does hit you back up with a “hey I had a good time tonight”, respond with “I had an awesome time tonight as well. You definitely have good vibes. When are you free so we can get together again in the next week or so?”

In this scenario it is okay to try and set up another date since she reached out first. Also notice I asked for her availability within the following week. This gives her some time/space to feel like things are progressing naturally and not being rushed. This gives off the notion that you have a busy schedule as well which up your value in her eyes
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Visions said:
I usually wait for the girl to text me back after the first date. It’s a good indicator of where her interest level is

If you don’t hear back from her then you have your answer

But let’s say a girl does hit you back up with a “hey I had a good time tonight”, respond with “I had an awesome time tonight as well. You definitely have good vibes. When are you free so we can get together again in the next week or so?”

In this scenario it is okay to try and set up another date since she reached out first. Also notice I asked for her availability within the following week. This gives her some time/space to feel like things are progressing naturally and not being rushed. This gives off the notion that you have a busy schedule as well which up your value in her eyes
Okay Imma take this one as a lesson and next time I'll wait for her
But this time despite us having a great time and her texting me first when we exchanged numbers I didn't really feel like she was in that vibe of texting me later that night and shit

But maybe that's my biggest mistake. From the go putting my self in a position where she's the one in control and where I'm the chaser.

She responded to my text with "we will be in touch next week!!!" and I responded with a simple "waiting"

Now it's only her choice what happens next and I won't text her no more.
If she wants this she will come and get it :meek:
 

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worthit said:
Okay Imma take this one as a lesson and next time I'll wait for her
But this time despite us having a great time and her texting me first when we exchanged numbers I didn't really feel like she was in that vibe of texting me later that night and shit

But maybe that's my biggest mistake. From the go putting my self in a position where she's the one in control and where I'm the chaser.

She responded to my text with "we will be in touch next week!!!" and I responded with a simple "waiting"

Now it's only her choice what happens next and I won't text her no more.
If she wants this she will come and get it :meek:
Oof. Yeah. Shouldn’t have sent the waiting part bro. Got any screens by chance ?
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
DJ Wackademiks said:
Oof. Yeah. Shouldn’t have sent the waiting part bro. Got any screens by chance ?
It's not in English so there's no point...
but a lose transcription would be

*we say goodbye*
*3h later*
Me (around 10pm) : "So yeah. Would you like to do it again sometimes?"
She (12pm): "We will get in touch next week!!"
Me (2am): "waiting 🤞"

and If you're asking about how we met than I was with my homie at this popular social spot in my city and we were going the same way as she and her friends.
I asked them something. It was all laughs. She was right next to me and we were walking for like 4 min next to each other talking bout some basic bullshit like collage and shit. And when we had to split I asked for her number. She took my phone immediately after I took it out. She called herself. And I said goodbye to the girls and looked at her and told her "and we... will link up later"

than 2h later I open my phone and see a text
She: "So where are you from exactly (my name)?"

we had like 4 texts and she asked me about my night and I told her:
"it sucked but I had a good 5 min with you"

and she responded with:
"haha but you know... if you wanna ask me out it's either tmrw or monday bc I'm leaving soon"

after that it was simple where and when stuff
the rest is what's this thread is about :D


(yeah I'm bored... I have time to type all this lmao)



But yeah. I have this theory that if a girl likes you (and she can probably tell that by a 10 min conversation with you, let alone 4h) she will turn a blind eye for stupid shit like that and try to keep the relation going. So I'm not beating myself that I had texted her that night but now I'm just gonna chill out. Listen to some Future. And if she texts me in those 2weeks I'll be happy af. If not I guess I met her by mistake I'm sure there are a lot of girls waiting for a mistake like this to happen  :kanyeshrug:
 

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I know a lot of guys here think different, but I like texting with a girl that I’ve been seeing.

Just hitting her up, ask how shes doing and how her day went. Obviously only if she reciprocates and seems to enjoy it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Arctic_ said:
I know a lot of guys here think different, but I like texting with a girl that I’ve been seeing.

Just hitting her up, ask how shes doing and how her day went. Obviously only if she reciprocates and seems to enjoy it.
I mean texting as in sometimes she texts you first sometimes you're the one starting is dope and I wish I was on that stage with someone already lmao

But the first few dates, man... I don't know how texting works during that time if she's not the one starting

I guess if she's texts me than it's all clear and I'll feel free to text her later

But in the situation I am now it would be simply a bad move to text her first again :/
 
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