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me and the donut boy (charles aka dboy aka the blackest canadian whose white aka the non piss fetish version of r kelly) were makin these on skype moments ago and i thought it would be funny if everyone else made some i think this thread will be very cool and it wont rly be awkward :)

mods please keep here cuz it involves hip hop

MF DOOM went up to Ghost and asked him "where is my shlong err...i mean mask"..Ghost was aroused and turned to MF DOOM and pushed him down upon the dojo floor...Quasimoto then burst into the room and the two men stood silently admiring his beautiful gold fur....Quas' long nose was then stroked to his pleasure while George Duke was blasting in the background...All of a sudden, King Geedorah broke into their house with the intention to steal everyone's virginity using his triple dragon dick... To Be Continued->
 

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Dr Dre stops taking steroids *cough* sorry lifting weights and records Detox, produces every track solo and writes every verse. He even murks Kendrick.
 

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Pac and Biggie are alive and are buttbuddies in New Zealand and come back and release a 3 disc collab LP with no filler and the greatest verses and production ever. Then they have a world tour with Kendrick opening up for Pac and Schoolboy Q helping and opening up for Biggie. Then, Pac crowns Kendrick the new king of the West. Then Pac helps Dre release Detox and then helps put Black Hippy on the map, thus reviving the West. :allears: Then Biggie kills Diddy and beats the shit out of Hov (but doesn't kill him) and helps find some dope New York rappers to revive the East. Then worshipping Lil B becomes a religion with over one million dedicated supporters.

:seanshrug:
 

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        “#2 – Be Cautious” He reads over and over again in his mind. “#2 – Be Cautious by Duke” He can’t believe what he is seeing. He looks at the info on his Blackberry. “#2 – Be Cautious by Duke [200,000 copies sold]”. He wipes the sweat off his bushy eyebrows and immediately starts to worry. He repeats in his mind how many copies his album sold and is frozen in fear and shock as if he was in Russia, not Miami. He knows what selling that many copies mean.

        He takes a glance at his Rolex watch, the time is 11:28 PM on Monday November 21st. Just one week ago Duke released his 2nd album entitled “Be Cautious”. His first album, ‘No, Thank You’ sold twice as much in the first week. He logs onto the computer to check his email. He scrolls up and down looking for the specific email. He ignores the mass of ‘Congratulations!’ emails but before he can find the email from his mentor his mother calls.

        Humphrey Duke Saltine was born and raised in Montreal, Canada. He’s a half-black, half-white Jewish kid. He had bar mitzvah at age 13 and when he started high school he started to act in school plays. By the time he graduated from high school, he got a lead role in a popular teen television series. Once the series ended, he started rapping at the age of 20 five years ago. After a few popular and critically acclaimed mixtapes, Duke signed with Premature Records by Yung L.

        “Congratulations I’m so proud of you!” His mother nearly screams on the phone.

        “Thanks mom, I love yo-” He blurts out before there’s a powerful knock at the door. “Listen, I got to go, I’ll talk to you later bye”

        Duke approaches the door warily with caution. He peeks through the peep hole of the door and sees two men. He thinks he recognizes them but he turns to the computer and shuts it down. Bang. Another BOISTEROUS knock at the door shakes Duke. He looks down at his vintage Nikes pondering over his next move. He decides to see what the men want. But when he opened the door his fear became reality.
He recognized the two men immediately now that they were in the light. The two men, both extremely successful hip hop artists, stared at Duke and stood still like statues. Kilo East and Cray-Z wait for Duke to say something. Kilo East has had five number 1 albums with one being a collaboration album with Cray-Z. Cray-Z has had 11 number 1 albums as well. “We know you know why we’re here” Kilo says with disappointment.

        “Yea, let me get my stuff together” Duke retorts.

        “You won’t be needing your stuff, Duke, not where we’re going.”

        “Right,” Duke grabs his Blackberry and walks into the hallway with Kilo and Cray following right behind him. All of a sudden, all of the lights turn off and the world goes dark. Cray knocks Duke out with chloroform as Kilo puts a potato sack on his head. They call over their accompany men and they carry him out of the hotel using secret passageways.

        They push him into a van and make the sound of an eagle when screeching out of the parking lot. The van casually makes its way through the city and to the outskirts of Miami. The van swerves in and out of traffic on the highway. It halts to a sudden stop with the city lights just a blur from their current position on a private runway. Duke, now awoken from his slumber, is escorted by Kilo into a private jet.

        Duke sits down and the bag on his head is removed with force. The lights of the jet blinding his eyes and before he can register where he is and with whom, he is punched. His head is now pounding like the drums at a Hawai’i welcoming party. He opens his eyes and notices the wainscoting lining the walls of the jet, he’s been here before. He looks into the eyes of a familiar, dark face. The tattoos decorating his opponents face with evil and his hair, in dreads, drapes over his face like a curtain. He’s looking into the face of his mentor and friend, Yung L.

        Behind Yung L is a table full of familiar rappers, most notably Vulture, P.E., Maz, Sick Boss, and Casa Bey. The table is marked with a symbol that seems like a cross between a wolf and a bear. Kilo East and Cray-Z join the table of esteemed rappers. These esteemed rappers and Duke are apart of the dreaded Ammuniatto. Yung L is smoking on a cigar, full of marijuana which releases a potent stench. He looks at Duke with an unexplainable expression on his face. His feelings are mixed, he signed and led Duke to his success and fame, but now he has to deal with him. “We all know about your sales Duke.” the words creep out of Yung L’s mouth at hauntingly slow pace. “They aren’t enough to please the headmaster. So what are we going to do about this current predicament?”

        “Listen, I never agreed to this-”

        “You did!” L sends a powerful wave from the tone of his voice which stops Duke’s train of thought. “You did when you signed with my label. You were too young and foolish to read the fine print of our contract and now you have to pay for not delivering enough sales.”

        “Alright, I’m sorry please give me another chance!” pleading, Duke looked to the table of rappers behind Yung L looking for pity.

        The jet has already taken off awhile ago and Duke takes a look out the window next to him and he sees the coast parallel to the jet. Yung L looks back at his fellow rappers and they nod at each other. Yung L is far from being the leader of the Ammuniatto, but he has a high enough position that when he signed Duke, he was forever in charge of dealing with him. “You must know that you aren’t the only one being punished here Duke.” L speaks somberly, “I signed you which means I have to be demoted. The committee and I have decided to vote on whether or not to kill you.

        “KILL ME?!?!” Duke screams out before Sick Boss takes out his gun and aims it at him. “Calm down Duke,” says Sick.

        “Yes, why do you think Lil O and P90X are no longer around? They aren’t in the studio making new albums, we killed them after they didn’t sell as well. Look at Tale, he was signed to Arctic records and only sold 100,000 copies of his debut album. Now that Sick Boss signed him under his label he can be sitting where you are in a month,” says Cray-Z with authority.

        “Aiight, well now we’re going to vote,” declares Yung L.

        The board of 11 rappers, one by one vote on the matter. Yung L, Vulture, Maz, P.E., Xzibit, and Big Dook vote yes while Kilo, Cray, Casa Bey, Skittle, and Sick Boss vote no. “Aiight, 6 to 5, looks like you’re lucky Duke. You don’t get to die but life will not be easy anymore,” Yung L says with cautiousness. “#1 - The Luther IV by Yung L -1,000,000 copies sold, #2 - Be Cautious by Duke - 300,000 records sold.”

        Duke looks up at Yung L who looks at him with guilt. The jet lands in and Duke sees that they have landed in New York City. The committee exits the jet each looking at Duke with stern faces and climb into their limos that screech out of the private runway. Yung L pats Duke on the back as they exit the jet together. They reach a limo, Duke’s posse is waiting for him in it. “Alright now is the time to party!” declares L, “you know it’s just a matter of business right? Okay, take care.”

        Take Care. The words resonate through Duke’s head. Take Care. Yung L first spoke those words when he signed Duke. Duke realizes what he means. The vote was fake. The decision was already handed down to the committee. Duke still has a death warrant. The limo stops at the club, the posse gets out and Duke tries to run to the left. He turns the corner before a gunshot rings throughout the neighborhood like a church bell. Take Care
 

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Not fiction, but still a good story...

Brah said:
Let me tell you a little story about the power of J. Cole's music....


Last year I did some volunteering at a cancer hospital, I would just kick it with the kids with cancer and play video games with them and other shit little cancer kids do.  One day I was walking in listening to my iPod, and I passed one of the patients, Frankie.  Little kid has leukemia and probably wont make it.  When he passes me he asks what I'm listening to.  So I tell him I'm bumping Cole's Warm-Up (classic).  Frankie has never heard of Cole, so he asks if he can take a listen to the song, so I pass him the headphones and play Get Away for him. I look away because I thought I heard someone say my name, but when I turn back to Frankie, I see tears in his eyes.  He takes the headphones off at the end of the song and tells me it's the most beautiful thing he's ever heard, and asks if I can upload it on his iPod.  I end up giving him the mixtape, but then I went on vacation for a couple weeks, and when I came back, he wasn't there.  I asked one of the nurses where he went, and she said that "he left us", which I assumed meant he passed away....



Skip to about two months ago....


One day I'm walking through the parking lot to the movie theater, and as I enter the theater I recognize this kid.  I do a double take because it's Frankie, and he has three little bitches on his arms!  I'm like daaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyuuuuuummmm, I thought that kid died!  He sees me and runs over to me. I tell him I thought he was dead, and he says that he left the hospital because his cancer somehow went away.  He says that ever since the day I played J. Cole for him, he listened to the Warm-up non-stop, and within two weeks or so of doing that his leukemia disappeared.  Since he was in the hospital for so long people from his school would always send him get well soon cards, so when he got out he used the addresses on those cards to find bitches, and used J. Cole to get them to go out with him.  Now he basically living the life, when a year ago he was on the brink of death.

J. Cole cures Leukemia and helps you pull bitches.  Name another artist that can do that.
 

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bbc said:
me and the donut boy (charles aka dboy aka the blackest canadian whose white aka the non piss fetish version of r kelly)
:hah:

bbc said:
MF DOOM went up to Ghost and asked him "where is my shlong err...i mean mask"..Ghost was aroused and turned to MF DOOM and pushed him down upon the dojo floor...Quasimoto then burst into the room and the two men stood silently admiring his beautiful gold fur....Quas' long nose was then stroked to his pleasure while George Duke was blasting in the background...All of a sudden, King Geedorah broke into their house with the intention to steal everyone's virginity using his triple dragon dick... To Be Continued->
What the fuck?!
 
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