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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
yo so im 15 and only 1 more school year till college. Am always down cause i know something is wrong. All i do is come home right after school i don't socialize and go out with people ass i used to, i make beats and get money, and be on ktt. I always say life goes on even if i don't like to go to parties at this age, am still young and will brake away eventually. Sometimes i feel like i shouldn't care but i do ya know even when i say i don't. my bro always tells me i won't have no memories when i get older and shit but am still young and i have 16- 25 to have some fun memories. i never tell no one this but i am very self conscious about my weight and shit so im very specific of what i wear and clothes and always think about what others say about how i look. I haven't had a girlfriend in years. Im fairly popular for making beats but its the Only thing i have against others is that i have a stable future in music producing and i get money but it sucks that this is how it is. but sometimes i just don't care i want to change tho but just not now. what are yall suggestion?
 

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I actually went through this exact type of phase my sophmore through mid junior year of highschool (I'm a senior now). I used to literally do nothing outside of school but be on the computer checking up on forums I frequented and played video games. I never really got shit for it, but I always felt deep down that I was being pretty antisocial and lame, and I felt a lot of this had to do with not having enough self-confidence. Having gotten past this stage in my life I can safely say that that was the key issue. Not having any confidence in myself resulted in my always questioning everything I did in life, and made me not wanna do anything out of the ordinary. I used to be very self conscious about what people thought about me and I felt pretty paranoid most of the time - thinking that everybody was saying something about me every second of my life. My grades took a pretty bad beating because of this, I just basically stopped caring about school altogether and became very lazy (went from a straight A student freshman year to a B and C student, with maybe one or two As in my sophmore and junior year). The way I got out of this was basically to literally just stop giving a fuck about what people think or say about me - and I got this from listening to a lot of Kid Cudi. I can safely say (and this may sound pretty lame) that Cudi's music turned my life around. One song in particular that helped me a lot was Solo Dolo, because the meaning of that song is basically exactly what I was feeling at that point and the last verse of that song is Cudi breaking through that cycle, which is exactly what I needed.  I started feeling more comfortable doing things and saying things at school, and things felt like they were going back to normal. Now I'm able to do a lot of the stuff kids do in high school - partying, hanging out with friends, etc. I also started smoking weed like mid junior year, at first not because of my problems, but I realized that when I was high, it helped me even more to not me so self conscious about what people thought of me. It's not like I became a daily stoner, but once in a while it helps me get back to reality. Also, you say that you're good at making beats and popular for doing so at school? Awesome, keep going with it. Having something that you're good at is a great way to keep your confidence up, especially when people praise you for it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
damn son great read shit made think
lol so i shouldn't really care for now
yo one my friends was say something about my grades and i was like why you always callin my name son
and one my next partners was like you should be happy your class mate is talking about yo no girls talk about ya

shit made feel like shit lol
 
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