[Gulpin]

i posted the kony video on fb

LOOOOB FUCKING GOAT POST

 

[Shamalamadingdong1]

Give this man his Nobel piece prize.

 

[Exile]

i posted the kony video on fb

:lol:

 

[Jif Peanut Butter]

I saved the world from king bowser multiple times.

 

[Shabalala]

When I was 17 I was out jogging and I pulled this women back who was about to jump from a bridge down onto the motorway (freeway for the americans) below I was jogging past and noticed her standing on the otherside of barrier and she sounded like she was crying (it was dark so I couldn't tell for sure and I don't think she seen me partly because it was dark and because the state she was in) so I just put my arms around her waste and dragged her back over the other side she was like 25/26 and was crying hysterically and couldn't get any answers out of her so I phoned the cops and waited with her untill they arrived I told them what I knew and gave them my details they took her in the their car. I came home from school the next day and there were two cops waiting in my house with my mother and they told me that she had lost her husband and young daughter in a car accident the week before so they I quote the exact words they said "We thank you on behalf of the police force and the womens family for a truly heroic deed"

I indirectly saved someone else trying to commit suicide aswell there is a bridge near my house which is famous for people commiting suicide it happens all the time there. I was in a shop geting beer walked outside back to my car when this guy who looked white as a ghost and was sort of trembling he just didn't seem right he asked me how to get to the bridge by foot I gave him directions thinking nothing of it. I got back home and it started to play on my mind there was no reason for anyone to walk to the bridge there was nothing else near it for miles no other shops, no houses nothing then I remembered how strange he was acting and I realised he might be going to commit suicide I started thinking how guilty I would feel if I did nothing and heard about is death in the news the next day. So again I called the police and told them that it was just a hunch and that I had a feeling that a man was about to commit suicide on the brige. I heard a police helicopter fly over head about 10 minutes later and in the newspaper the next day I read this exact quote "after a 10 minute stand off in which the road was closed police officers managed to convince a middle aged man to step away from the ledge and back onto the saftey of the bridge after a tip off from a member of the public"

If that hasn't got me a ticket into heaven (if it exists) then I don't know what will lol.   

 

[Efram the Rabbit]

Yes, I have done heroin.

 

[Kendrick Lamar]

I caught 2 people who managed to get in my back garden and try to break in my house. Opened the window and was like get the fuck off my property in calling police and they legged it

 

[Americunt]

How did you not hit that night? God threw that shit your face.

GJ tho.

 

[Finn The Human]

i jumped of a buildin for a hotdog

 

[FE]

Heroin.

 

[NiceLikeChrist]

I was on vacation chillin in the pool and this little british baby girl was swimming a little to far from the edge.

She started to struggle and I lifted her up and put her back in the shallow end.

She looked at me like

I felt swagged the fuck out tbh

 

[MSmart36]

When I was 17 I was out jogging and I pulled this women back who was about to jump from a bridge down onto the motorway (freeway for the americans) below I was jogging past and noticed her standing on the otherside of barrier and she sounded like she was crying (it was dark so I couldn't tell for sure and I don't think she seen me partly because it was dark and because the state she was in) so I just put my arms around her waste and dragged her back over the other side she was like 25/26 and was crying hysterically and couldn't get any answers out of her so I phoned the cops and waited with her untill they arrived I told them what I knew and gave them my details they took her in the their car. I came home from school the next day and there were two cops waiting in my house with my mother and they told me that she had lost her husband and young daughter in a car accident the week before so they I quote the exact words they said "We thank you on behalf of the police force and the womens family for a truly heroic deed"

I indirectly saved someone else trying to commit suicide aswell there is a bridge near my house which is famous for people commiting suicide it happens all the time there. I was in a shop geting beer walked outside back to my car when this guy who looked white as a ghost and was sort of trembling he just didn't seem right he asked me how to get to the bridge by foot I gave him directions thinking nothing of it. I got back home and it started to play on my mind there was no reason for anyone to walk to the bridge there was nothing else near it for miles no other shops, no houses nothing then I remembered how strange he was acting and I realised he might be going to commit suicide I started thinking how guilty I would feel if I did nothing and heard about is death in the news the next day. So again I called the police and told them that it was just a hunch and that I had a feeling that a man was about to commit suicide on the brige. I heard a police helicopter fly over head about 10 minutes later and in the newspaper the next day I read this exact quote "after a 10 minute stand off in which the road was closed police officers managed to convince a middle aged man to step away from the ledge and back onto the saftey of the bridge after a tip off from a member of the public"

If that hasn't got me a ticket into heaven (if it exists) then I don't know what will lol.   

 

[Bala]

LOOOOB FUCKING GOAT POST

Truuuuu

 

[Doom]

I've rescued 5183 people from the brink of death

 

[eleanor jones]

braked to avoid a bunny 2 days ago. got my name in the paper

 

[Frank The Bunny]

I was at the pools in mexico with the fan, and some 10 year old kid wandered off to the 12 ft area and he was about to drown. I saw him, swam towards him, took him to the edge of the pool to his mom. I was 13 when that happened. His mom didn't even thank me. That fucking bitch.

 

[Devil In A New Suit]

Once grabbed a box off the top shelf for a short guy.

 

[Jif Peanut Butter]

I caught 2 kids trying to fuck in the theater when I worked there. I busted that shit up and got the girls mom over there lol. They were embarrassed but I saved her life cuz she was a white girl and she was about to fuck a black dude. She woulda been an outkast after that. White people wouldn't have taken her back. Alabama still like that. She just don't know how close she came. Credit score instantly fucked up.

 

[Undergrad]

I caught 2 kids trying to fuck in the theater when I worked there. I busted that shit up and got the girls mom over there lol. They were embarrassed but I saved her life cuz she was a white girl and she was about to fuck a black dude. She woulda been an outkast after that. White people wouldn't have taken her back. Alabama still like that. She just don't know how close she came. Credit score instantly fucked up.

The fuck

 

[Shamalamadingdong1]

I caught 2 kids trying to fuck in the theater when I worked there. I busted that shit up and got the girls mom over there lol. They were embarrassed but I saved her life cuz she was a white girl and she was about to fuck a black dude. She woulda been an outkast after that. White people wouldn't have taken her back. Alabama still like that. She just don't know how close she came. Credit score instantly fucked up.

Oh my dear God.

This is thread worthy by itself.